A note to readers: Anyone for a little whine with their coffee? If so read on. The following was an exercise in dumping. However, I would love suggestions on helping Bekka find what she wants to do at the bottom if you are so inclined.
Yesterday I belayed for Steve so he could climb to the top of one of the walls at the climbing center to get a Geocaching clue. Today I’m paying for it with a splitting headache and a sore neck from looking straight up for that long (my neck has always been wimpy).
Since, of course, it’s not enough to just feel yucky, we are stuck at home because we didn’t really think through the great idea of getting Steffi exposed to chicken pox two weeks ago. I was thinking that she would get it in two weeks and then we’d be home for a week. Well, the reality is that she could get it anywhere between 10 and 16 days after exposure and is contagious two days before the spots appear, so being considerate people, we are staying home so we don’t infect someone who doesn’t want to be infected.
To top it all off, Bekka just can’t think of anything to do! Ever! (At least that’s what it feels like.) I give her ideas, she rejects them all. I feel at such a loss. And now she’s stomping around because I can’t help her (remember the horrible headache mentioned earlier). I read about all the perfect unschooling families whose children are always happily engaged in all kinds of interesting activities, and while I know that isn’t really the reality, it does often feel like I’m failing Bekka somehow. Surely if I were a better unschooling mom she would be happily engaged in interesting activities, right? Or at least she wouldn’t be storming around the house.
When we do come up with something interesting to do and she gets excited about something, she loses interest before we even have a chance to follow through. For example, I thought it would be fun to invite all the unschooling teens within a one hundred-ish mile radius to come hang out for an evening like Roxy’s been doing in NY. I emailed Roxy’s mom, Lisa (sending well wishes their way as I type this) and she sent me back the details of how they’ve organized their teen gatherings. I checked with our local unschooling teens for availability (knowing that it may only be Bekka and the two of them), picked a date on the calendar, and before I could even write up an email, Bekka no longer wants to do it. Ugh!
As I write this out, I’m realizing that I may just need to take this question to the Radical Unschooling yahoo group – maybe I can get some good guidance there. But, if you have read this far and you have any great suggestions, PLEASE leave me a comment. I could use all the help I can get!
So, sock it to me – what do you or your kids like to do instead of being bored?
2 comments:
Interestingly enough, the conversation at RU right now is about schooled teens who have discovered Dayna's youtube videos and are clamoring to be let FREE.
Oh, poo - I started to write all these advicey type things, but they don't sound right at all. I trust you'll find your way, and so will your daughter. What she *wants* isn't available, so it's created this space that she's unused to. Trust her to fill it. (I know you do!) You don't have to fill it for her. She's being led to something *amazing*, 'cause that's how this life works.
Did *you* want the unschoolers gathering? Go ahead and see how you can work that out. Find a way Bekka can hide or participate or do whatever she needs... can you fill *your* cup? How do you do that?
You read about all the cool stuff unschoolers do. I write about the cool stuff I and my kids do. But I don't write about the days they're bored and whiny and I'm short-tempered, not because I'm trying to hide the truth, but because that's not fun to write about, and not as fun to read about.
I don't have much advice. I'm just saying that I'm pretty sure your experience isn't far from what others are doing, too.
Good luck!
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