If you don't make them clean their room...

It may just look like this almost all the time!

This is Steffi's room. In July we had a great time planning out how she wanted it painted. We finally finished putting it together (putting up the bed netting and hanging light) last week. She is very proud of her room, and should be!

(Oh, and just so you know, she does all this herself - she gets up in the morning and makes her bed beautiful.)

Beliefnet

The Belief-o-Matic at Beliefnet.com is just so fascinating to me. I've always had an inexplicable interest in religion, considering I'm just not religious.

Years ago (before I had kids) I took a four-hour interest assessment exam the tries to match your interest with possible occupations. All of my top matches were religious, minister, rabbi, etc. The next top matches were all in the social services field (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc. I'm really not sure why all of this is such a good match for me, or why I've always been so interested in religious beliefs.

Well, anyway... I just took the Belief-o-Matic quiz again just now and was surprised and please by the results. I learned of this quiz about four years ago and every time I've taken it since (which I do every once in a while) it has resulted in 100% Unitarian Universalist, until today. Today the result was a 100% match with Secular Humanist.

About three months ago I was thinking of my beliefs and realized that the thing that feels true to me is secular humanism. Before that time, I considered myself a UU, felt very much like a UU and, after moving to Corvallis, struggled with the fact the the UU church here didn't feel like a very good fit.

Over the years I've recommended the Belief-o-Matic to many people and have found that those who are actively searching for a faith community often don't like the results, but when I look at their results think, "well that makes total sense". They often have an inaccurate preconceived idea of what the resulting religious match is, and can't see themselves in that religion. Often, if they just opened their mind a bit, they could see the accuracy of the recommendation. The people who are really secure in their faith community usually find that the results match what they already know.

So, go take the quiz and see what happens - I've just found it to be so accurate!

Ideas Worth Spreading: A Stroke of Insight

I received this link twice yesterday, and decided that it was definitely an idea worth spreading. Here, a Neuroanatomist shares what she learned while experiencing a stroke.

Bad day for driving

So, we've had the Prius for four years now, and hardly a scratch has it seen. This is, without a doubt, my favorite car I've ever had. Her name is Mary Poppins (because she is practically perfect in every way). She's even better than Jack ('o Lantern), my '74 orange (Phoenix red, to be exact) VW Bug (but don't tell Jack that!).

Thursday afternoon Bekka and I are in the car, stopped on Harrison waiting to turn into our driveway when all of a sudden we hear tires screeching and then, BANG! A car comes crashing into the back of our (formerly perfect) car.

In all my years of driving (jeez, 28 years already), I've only been in two accidents. One was when a 16 year old driver pulled out in front of me from a stop sign when I was about 30 feet from the intersection in a 35 mph zone and this one, a 17ish year old driver crashing into me while I'm waiting to turn into my driveway (breaklights engaged, turn signal on). Ugh! Not that I'm against young, new drivers, I just wish they wouldn't run into me and mess up my cars.

But Bekka and I are fine, and I figure it was a great driving lesson for Bekka (who hasn't gotten her permit yet, even though she could have months ago - waiting patiently for her to decide she's ready).

Oh, and guess how much this will be to fix! ~$2000! Thank goodness she has good insurance.







I can't even imagine how much her's would be - I'm guessing it's totaled. I'm glad I don't have to pay her insurance after this - her poor, and getting poorer, parents!

Chicken Pox!

About a month ago we found out that a friend in town had the chicken pox. Steffi hadn't had them yet and she's getting close to either needing to have them or get the vaccine. We talked with Steffi about her choices, and she decided that she would rather get the chicken pox than get a shot.

So off we go to the strangest play date we've ever had! Bekka came with us and helped Steffi get the chicken pox. The best thing the girls did was play hand-clap games, with Steffi ending each round by touching the pox on Sophia's forehead and then rubbing her eyes! (As I said, it was a very strange play date.)

We went through all the things you're not supposed to do (when you're trying to stay well).

Then we waited. And waited. And gave up the idea that she was going to get them. The doctors all say that the incubation period is from 10 to 16 days. We kept Steffi home during that time, since you are most contagious two days before the spots appear. When the official time was up, Steffi went to the Celtic jam Friday night, the folk dance performance Saturday night, church with her friend on Sunday (and lunch with the extended family after) and mini golfing and Gelato eating with our fellow GS troop members on Monday.

Steffi seemed a little lethargic on Sunday and Monday, but she only had one spot on her back, and it looked nothing like the pictures of chicken pox I'd looked up. When we got home Monday afternoon from Gelato, she had lots of spots and was feeling pretty crummy.

On Tuesday and Wednesday she didn't really feel like doing anything but lay around on the couch and watch TV. The spots traveled everywhere, but she never really itched and didn't want any creams, tonics, or baths.

On Thursday she decided that other than being boring, having chicken pox really isn't so bad, and she was glad she decided to get them instead of the shot!

Bekka has a dance floor!

A couple of weeks ago we (Steve, Bekka, and I) installed a dance floor in Bekka's spare room above the garage.

You see, she's really gotten into Irish Step Dancing, which is really great, but also really hard on her joints. The best surface for practicing Irish Step Dancing is on a sprung hard wood floor. Now, that would be pretty expensive (as would the pre-made dance floors you can buy). The room above the garage had carpet down, so we pulled the carpet up, left the carpet padding and installed laminate over the pad to create the spring she needs.

First we remove the carpet (who knew that the carpet pad matched the walls!)


Then we lay the floor


Lyra brings Bear Friend to help


Bekka lays the last piece


And gets ready to dance

Unschooler's Grief CELEBRATION Week

What a week it's been. This has been a powerful week with great reminders from brave and wise women.

First from Diana Jenner, who always reminds us all that we need to help our kids enjoy their life RIGHT NOW, 'cause we don't know what their future may be, or if they will have a future. February 24, 2006 her nine year old daughter, Hannah, crossed over to join her dad, Mitch. Nine years old! She lived a life of value and joy, friends and fun. Her short life continues to gain in value with every family who hears the lessons she has for us, every parent who is frustrated with their kid and who stops and thinks of Hannah and turns that frustration into gratitude for the pure joy of getting to be with their child in that moment.

While I never got to meet Hannah, I've had the great pleasure of getting to know her brave and wise mom. I can't help but get joy from her sobering message. She celebrates life more than anyone I know, and she has lost so much more than most. I want to always carry Diana's spirit of LIFE with me, no matter what.

On Monday the unschooling community lost a truly bright spirit in Lisa Heyman. I just met her in September - I shared a couple of meals with her at the Live and Learn Conference - but she really touched me, as she does most people she meets. After L&L she and her daughter Roxy started coordinating teen unschooling gatherings in NY. Every time I saw the invitation on the L&L list I wished we were close enough for my daughter to go. Finally this spring we decided that we would just host our own here in Oregon, so I emailed Lisa and Roxy to find out how it was working for them. A few days later I received a thoughtful, detailed reply from both of them with the closing from Lisa of an invitation to come visit. I didn't really pay much attention to the invitation at the end of the email until I was reading through some of the posts on the Tribute to Lisa blog. One of the other unschooling moms mentioned that she always closes with a sincere invitation, so I went back to my email from Lisa and sure enough, "PS if you ever want to make a trip east – we’re an hour north of Manhattan and it’s always fun to host fellow unschoolers."

I encourage you to go to the tribute blog and read about this wonderful woman. She is a bright spirit whose physical light went out too soon for most folks, but whose spirit will shine on and illuminate the lives of many families. She is an inspiration.

There May be a Light at the End of this Tunnel

Someone on my Consensual-Living yahoo group just shared a link to A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life, With 7 Practices. I just find it so interesting how the universe works when you are open to the possibilities! This is exactly what I needed to read this morning.

There’s been some very strange stuff going on in my world that I’ve been alluding to here in my blog, and up until the last couple of days, I’ve been successful in staying in a space of compassion for the person who has been trying to shut me and my daughter out of the unschooling community. This has helped me to stay light and calm throughout this experience. But recently, I’ve slipped into a mindset of being frustrated and angry (probably because of how these events are affecting my daughter – it’s really hard to be compassionate to everyone and to help guide my daughter through this maze of injustice and help her let go of the hurt – be there with her as she learns her life lessons and help her come out the other side proud of her actions and who she is).

I do not want to live my life frustrated and angry. I want to live my life in the light of love, compassion, and connection because it just really feels so much better here!

The part of the seven practices that really speaks to me today is #6: “Those who mistreat us practice. The final stage in these compassion practices is to not only want to ease the suffering of those we love and meet, but even those who mistreat us. When we encounter someone who mistreats us, instead of acting in anger, withdraw. Later, when you are calm and more detached, reflect on that person who mistreated you. Try to imagine the background of that person. Try to imagine what that person was taught as a child. Try to imagine the day or week that person was going through, and what kind of bad things had happened to that person. Try to imagine the mood and state of mind that person was in — the suffering that person must have been going through to mistreat you that way. And understand that their action was not about you, but about what they were going through. Now think some more about the suffering of that poor person, and see if you can imagine trying to stop the suffering of that person. And then reflect that if you mistreated someone, and they acted with kindness and compassion toward you, whether that would make you less likely to mistreat that person the next time, and more likely to be kind to that person. Once you have mastered this practice of reflection, try acting with compassion and understanding the next time a person mistreats you. Do it in little doses, until you are good at it. Practice makes perfect.”

As I read through this I realize that this is what I’ve been doing all along and this must be why I’ve been able to feel the way I do about the situation. I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand what has happened in this person’s life to cause her to do what she has done, but through this exercise I don’t need to. I only need to imagine what might have been for her and to continue to have empathy for her, which will lead to maintaining my compassion for her. And, I think this is my last step, to accept that she will probably never have empathy for my daughter and will never be able to see what my daughter risked for her friend.

I’ve learned so many things about mothers/daughters, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, respect, etc. through this whole process. I don’t feel like I’m quite done examining all of this yet, but blogging about it is such an amazing way of examining how I’m really feeling and who I want to be and how I want to live my life.

To me, living an authentic life means living the way I want to live, not putting a front out for everyone to see and then doing things that don’t match up to the ideals I say I hold. It takes a lot of practice, but I must say, this experience has really helped me to clarify who I am, what I stand for, and how I live my life. I’m still not perfect, and I don’t really think people are meant to be, but I am proud of who I am and the choices I’m making.

What to do, what to DO?

A note to readers: Anyone for a little whine with their coffee? If so read on. The following was an exercise in dumping. However, I would love suggestions on helping Bekka find what she wants to do at the bottom if you are so inclined.

Yesterday I belayed for Steve so he could climb to the top of one of the walls at the climbing center to get a Geocaching clue. Today I’m paying for it with a splitting headache and a sore neck from looking straight up for that long (my neck has always been wimpy).

Since, of course, it’s not enough to just feel yucky, we are stuck at home because we didn’t really think through the great idea of getting Steffi exposed to chicken pox two weeks ago. I was thinking that she would get it in two weeks and then we’d be home for a week. Well, the reality is that she could get it anywhere between 10 and 16 days after exposure and is contagious two days before the spots appear, so being considerate people, we are staying home so we don’t infect someone who doesn’t want to be infected.

To top it all off, Bekka just can’t think of anything to do! Ever! (At least that’s what it feels like.) I give her ideas, she rejects them all. I feel at such a loss. And now she’s stomping around because I can’t help her (remember the horrible headache mentioned earlier). I read about all the perfect unschooling families whose children are always happily engaged in all kinds of interesting activities, and while I know that isn’t really the reality, it does often feel like I’m failing Bekka somehow. Surely if I were a better unschooling mom she would be happily engaged in interesting activities, right? Or at least she wouldn’t be storming around the house.

When we do come up with something interesting to do and she gets excited about something, she loses interest before we even have a chance to follow through. For example, I thought it would be fun to invite all the unschooling teens within a one hundred-ish mile radius to come hang out for an evening like Roxy’s been doing in NY. I emailed Roxy’s mom, Lisa (sending well wishes their way as I type this) and she sent me back the details of how they’ve organized their teen gatherings. I checked with our local unschooling teens for availability (knowing that it may only be Bekka and the two of them), picked a date on the calendar, and before I could even write up an email, Bekka no longer wants to do it. Ugh!

As I write this out, I’m realizing that I may just need to take this question to the Radical Unschooling yahoo group – maybe I can get some good guidance there. But, if you have read this far and you have any great suggestions, PLEASE leave me a comment. I could use all the help I can get!

So, sock it to me – what do you or your kids like to do instead of being bored?

My Happy Day

My birthday was full of authentic joy and love. I got to spend the day connecting with two of my favorite people.

Since we were up in Portland, we had to hit Ikea, then we enjoyed a wonderful Vietnamese lunch where we laughed, cried (that would have been just me!) and shared parts of our lives with each other. After taking care of myself by making a difficult phone call while I had the support of my close friends, we spent a few hours painting pottery.

Alicia, Dominique and me surrounded by creativity

It was already 5:30 when we finished painting and our plan was to treat ourselves to fabulous dessert - so off we headed to Papa Haydn's. Mmmm! What a treat - and yes, they taste as good as they look!



Looking back over the day, I realize that the day was full of a lot of self care, which is something I've been needing. One of the activities we do in our GUTS work is to make a list of 100 ways to love myself. While my list is only 28 items long right now, I did a great job of loving myself on Saturday by listening to my heart, accepting myself, letting others love me, loving others, helping someone, listening to music (Amy Steinberg speaks to my soul), dressing up, taking a shower, brushing my teeth (sometimes it's the simple things!), giving someone a hug (lots of hugs), meeting friends for a meal, inviting a friend for lunch, following through on something hard (the difficult phone call I mentioned earlier), sending an uplifting email, being an advocate, remembering who I am, sharing my talents with others, and painting - that's 18 of my 28 - pretty darn good for one day!

One of my highlights came in a simple manila envelope. My friend Alicia made me the most incredible gift.

It reads:
You alight with such softness
The flower’s head does not bow.

You partake of the nectar
And leave life giving pollen in return

You must be treated gently lest your wings become ragged with life

Your wings fold to conceal the
brightness of your colors

When warmed by the sun they unfurl to reveal your brilliant colors

You soar with the slightest breeze
And you flash in the sunlight

You walk with such softness
on the Earth you leave no footprint

You partake of the Earth’s delicacies, friend’s time, and family’s love,
And leave life giving compost, energy,
wisdom and love in return

You treat yourself gently with soft beds and organic fibers, lest your body become ragged with life

You are a rare gem,
concealed by a quiet spirit...

In the presence of friends you reveal
your beautiful and brilliant colors

You soar with grand ideas and
shine in the light of many successes.

And I am proud to call you friend!

It is an 8.5x11 page and it is beautiful in more ways than one and I cry every time I read it.

My life is full and good and beautiful.

Tomorrow's My Birthday!

And I'm gonna be 44! I'm looking forward to spending the day with a couple of wonderful friends in Portland. There are a couple of others who will be sorely missed, but I get to see them both in Minnesota this summer.

I better get to bed, I have a full day of HAPPY ahead of me!

Another Meme

I picked this up over at one of my favorite blogs.

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? Some old napkins and about eight bingo cards (highway, interstate, regular – ya’ gotta be prepared!).

2.When was the last time you threw up? Thankfully I don’t remember. I hope this doesn’t jinks me!

3.What’s your favorite curse word? I’m kind of a language prude – I don’t really care if others swear, but it’s not something I care to do.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Bekka, Steffi, and Gracie (the little girl at Folk Dance who kept sliding around on the wood floor on her poodle skirt – too cute!)

5. What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning? Uh, SLEEPING!!!

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Reading blogs.

7. Where were you born? Biloxi, Mississippi – lived there for a whole two months.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nah.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Are you almost done?"

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Mmm, chocolate mint (NOT mint with chocolate, but chocolate ice cream flavored with mint – I’m VERY particular about this!)

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

12. What are you wearing right now? My jeans that I got free from Goodwill with my birthday credit, a purple turtleneck shirt and last year’s annual Sibling Revelry sale sweater (I’ve gotten a fab sweater at their great after Christmas sale the last two years, so it’s my new tradition), my cool new striped SmartWool socks and my purple Heflinger clogs. (And a down throw, ‘cause we refuse to heat our house any higher than 65 in the winter!)

13. What was the last thing you ate? Dreyer’s Thin Mint GS Cookie Ice Cream.

14. Have you bought any new clothes this week? Not for me.

15. Where were you last? The Kitchen (to get my ice cream)

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Uh, hmm. The closest I’ve come is Bekka’s Irish Dance competition.

17. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message while blogging? Peace Goddess

18. Where do you live? Corvallis, OR

19. What song are you listening to? Nothing right now.

20. Do you tan? I am a shade goddess.

21.Do you drink your soda from a straw? Not into carbonated beverages, unless it is a smooth, dark beer.

22. What did your last text message say? No text messaging for me.

23. Who’s your best friend? I'd have to say Carole, but there are many wonderful, authentic women I absolutely love and would hate to not have in my life.

24. What are you doing tomorrow? Taking my daughter to her piano lesson and working a little more on cleaning the pit our house has become.

25. Where is your mom right now? Her body has returned to the Earth and I hope her energy/spirit has found good work elsewhere. (Okay, I stole this answer from Peace Goddess, but it fits, so I’m gonna use it.)

26. Look to your right, what do you see? My beautiful and wise daughter, Bekka.

27. What do you think of when you think of where you live? Mindfulness, respect, peace, beauty, connection.

28. Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yeah, but don’t really like it much any more.

29. What is your birthstone? Amethist.

30. Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through? Yuck.

31.What is your favorite number? 24

32. Do you have a dog? Nope, we’re cat people.

33. Last person you talked to on the phone? Lisa (and Ruby in the background)

34. Have you met anyone famous? Depends on what you consider fame.

35. Any plans today? Well, since it’s 10:15, just playing on the blogosphere and watching Friends with Bekka.

36. How many states have you lived in? Oh Jeez, let’s see, Mississippi, Washington, California, (West Germany), Washington, California, Washington, Texas, California, Texas, California, Washington, Oregon – I know, a lot of repeating, but man! Lots of moves! Only five states and one foreign country, but I’ve lived at more than 30 addresses.

37. Ever go to college? Yes.

38. Where are you right now? Home, in the living room.

39. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Feeling used.

40. Are you struggling to forgive someone right now? No...I think forgiveness is earned. I struggle with letting folks be who they are when I am not afforded the same. (Oh My God! I did not write this answer, but it is SO great – I hope Peace Goddess doesn’t mind my using it!)

41. Are you allergic to anything? Not officially, but I think I’ve developed a grass allergy, what with living in the grass seed capital of the world.

42. Favorite pair of shoes? My Keens – so comfortable and they keep all this Oregon rain from my cold toes. (But I agree with Peace Goddess on the no bra thing, justs in case anyone was wondering)

And now if any of you wanna consider yourself tagged, TAG. If not...hope you enjoyed reading.

Let's Change the World

Please!

If you haven't seen this yet, please take a few minutes to do so.

Home Alone

What a treat! I got to be home alone all morning. Now, this has probably only happened about five times in the last fifteen years, so it really is quite a treat.

I slept in really late, got up and exercised while listening to NPR's Weekend Edition, checked email, read a few blogs (even found the one Bekka started), had a bite to eat and then had to run out to my FLOW (learning co-op) meeting.

All the while, Lyra, our perfect kitten was all over me! Bekka spent the night at a friend's house and so Lyra was all alone all night. She HATES to be alone! She just couldn't get enough of me. What a sweetie and what a nice morning.

Bekka's Pretty Smile

Yea! Bekka got her braces off this morning! She had to get up really, really early so Steve could take her in at 8am (Hey - I wasn't getting up at 7:30 - no way!), but it was worth the early morning for her.

Now we go run a couple of errands, then meet up with some other unschoolers for lunch, then off to our Free Learning group, back to the ortho office to pick up her retainer, then off to Irish dance. Whew! I hardly like to be this busy in a week, much less single day.

Transforming Anger

Wow! Scott Noelle was inside my head yesterday when he sent out today's Daily Groove. (Yeah, I know it's automatic, but STILL - the universe MUST be aligned!) The passage that specifically hit home for me is this:

Anger arises naturally whenever you perceive a loss of
personal freedom or power. It's there to energize you
on your way back to your natural state of empowerment.

Boy, am I perceiving a loss of personal freedom and power in this situation! I have someone who probably thinks I'm mad at her over an incredibly bizarre, contradictory set of emails, when in fact, I'm just really disappointed and saddened. And, okay, yes a little bit angry because of that loss of freedom and power thing. Part of me wants to use that energy to point out the breaks in logic of the situation (to prove that I'm right! LOL), but instead I've been using the energy that she has been sending my way to really make some positive stuff happen here in town.

Our inclusive homeschooling group has been dying a slow death for the last year, with many, but not all, of the unschoolers moving to a (mostly inactive) unschooling list. I don't know if it is possible, but with this energy I've been given, I'm hoping to revive the inclusive group so that all the unschoolers in town can gather if they wish, not just the illusion of all but the reality of all.

It feels good. It feels really good. And if you read Scott Noelle much, you know that feeling good means you are aligning with your heart's desire and all that jazz.

Letting Go

I had such a strange day yesterday. Very emotionally exhausting. So last night I wasn't really in the mood to read the book I'm trying to start. But as I was going to bed I noticed a completely neglected book on my shelf, one which I've never even cracked the cover. I bought it at a used bookstore five or six years ago (which means I've moved it three times!). It's called "Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much". When I bought it I was helping to start a PPP, leader of two Girl Scout Troops, active in my UU church, involved in the Scottish Country Dance group, and about ten other things. I was definitely doing too much. And of course, didn't have the time to use the book at that time!

Well, I've made lots of changes in my life and the title is really not all that applicable anymore, but it is the only meditation book I own and that part of it was really appealing last night.

So I turn to the page for the day and it is titled, "Letting Go". It starts with a quote from Anne Wilson Schaef. "When I am all hassled about something, I always stop and ask myself what difference it will make in the evolution of the human species in the next ten million years, and that question always helps me get back my perspective."

Because it was so appropriate for my day yesterday, I'm going to type out the entire offering:

"Little things mean a lot," especially when we focus all our attention on them, obsess and ruminate about them, and can't let them go. Sometimes, when we are in our disease, we just keep turning disturbing thoughts over and over in our minds, believing that we will surely figure out some solutions if we just think about them long enough and check every angle.
When we engage in this behavior, it is a sure sign that we are in the addictive process and thinking ourselves to death. I have always found that when I am in my addictive process, I have lost perspective. I suddenly become the center of the universe, and my problems are the only ones in the universe.
It always helps me to step back and realize that whatever problem I am having is probably not of universal proportions. This perspective helps me to see that I am powerless over my crazy thinking, and that it is making my life insane. At this point can get back in touch with my knowing that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity, and I can turn this problem over to this greater power.

The end quote (not credited) is: "One of the things we lose in the addictive disease process is perspective."

So, what does this mean to me in light of what yesterday was?

Last fall I had a problem with a new homeschooling mom and it totally shook me up, for over a week!!! Yikes! Looking back there are two things I can see that caused me to let myself spiral. One was that there was an element of truth in what she accused me of. No, I didn't yell at her daughter, nor did I purposefully disrespect her or her daughters, but I wasn't as kind to her daughter as I wish I had been. And second was that she didn't accept my heartfelt apology. That really left me hanging and spinning, and doubting myself.

This time it is a very different situation, and my conscience is completely clear. I actually feel light and clear.

So the meditation reminds me that I am not obsessing like I did in the fall and that I've come so far. Yea! That I am able to let go and live in the NOW, not in the past.

There are good, exciting things to come!

Trying to be My Best Self

Stuff happens, people do things that are baffling. I'm trying really hard to deal with everything that comes my way with honesty, tact, and compassion.

One tool that really helps is "The Four Agreements". This is an excellent book by don Miguel Ruiz.

Here are the Four Agreements:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.


Isn't that inspiring??? Now, if I can only remember them all the time!

Great Article Supporting Delayed Math Instruction

This article, written many, many years ago is so great in explaining why one would want to delay formal math instruction in schools.

I think it's a great article to share with the more schooly adversaries of unschooling!

Of course, the saddest thing about the article, published as a series of three articles between Nov. '35 and Jan. '36, is that it hasn't seemed to make any difference! I know of no schools using this information in their curriculum.

My main reason for sharing this with the blogging world is to have a place for me to find the article again!

We say "Sorry" too much

Last week I read in article in New Connexion, a free alternative publication, called "The Sorry Epidemic". The article is the reason I picked up the paper and brought it home, because I think about this every once in a while.

I think the word sorry is horribly over-used. It has become an automatic thing you say when you don't want to take responsibility. It excuses times like when we aren't paying attention, when we are running late, when we think we should be responsible for something but really aren't (like our kids behavior).

Saying sorry SHOULD mean that you didn't intend to do something and you will be making amends. But what it usually means is that you'll be blowing off any responsibility for what just happened.

The author of the article I read, Carolyn Campbell, decided that enough was enough. She would fine herself $1 every time she said she was sorry. I don't think that tactic goes along with the Laws of Attraction very well, but what she did end up noticing was her "sorries had prevented [her] from really standing up for what [she] needed, what was important to [her]."

So, I'm going to try noticing when I want to say sorry and see if I can come up with a more useful, accurate thing to say. When we leave sorry for when we truly are very sorry, it will be so much more useful of a word!